I have always loved this color
by SinfulApple
Summary: A cross between crimson and scarlet and black and liquid luster that pored from humans and all living creatures. yes, the color of blood.  character death ? , implied yaoi, self mutilation, all that good stuff.


hey everyone. i just got this idea and decided to try it. right now it is a one-shot, but i can add more if you would like. please review and let me know.

I own nothing...YET! hehehe =}

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><p>I have always loved this color. A cross between crimson and scarlet and black and liquid luster that pores from humans and all living creatures. Yes, the color of blood.<p>

Mine had been spilt so often throughout my childhood it would prove impossible not to be transfixed by its lovely hue. You see, this color gave me the reassurance that I was human because all other humans bled the same. If I did not bleed like them, I would only scare them more.

I cannot remember when I began to need and love this reassurance, but it was not so long ago. The beatings stopped once I began training to be a ninja and it was great at first, but once they began ignoring me I was forced to question my existence. The pain gives me life, the blood a link to humanity and with them I can carry on.

For a short time, when Sasuke and Sakura became my friends, I stopped feeling so secluded, but it ended once Sasuke left. He was the only one that had ever even come close to understanding and even he turned on me in the end. I tried so hard to bring him back, but even then no one cared to acknowledge me and so I resorted to the beautifully colored pain.

Five years had passed and Sasuke had eventually returned. He, much like I had done for him, tried to save me. I played along with the others just to avoid what I was sure they would say. It wasn't like any of them actually cared about me anyhow.

To this day Sasuke checks on me to make sure I'm not in the condition I was in when he first saw me after his return. I had not eaten in about seven days and my upper arms were littered with lacerations that were clearly been self inflicted. The look on his face had been very satisfying. A cross between horror and anger and sorrow and guilt.

I almost told him it was entirely his fault, but I figured he knew. So I just smirked and said hello. After that I never, ever, muttered another word to him. In fact, I scarcely talked to anyone at all.

Then, only about one week ago, I decided it was no longer worth my time to play this game called life. I mused about ways to finish it and finally get my message across. Somehow, I was going to hurt them too.

This led me to my current position. A kunai lodged in my wrist was causing blood to flow uninterruptedly onto my bathroom floor, staining the tile red. Oh, how good it felt and I wouldn't even have to stop it this time. I let a satisfied ease its way onto my face and chuckled to myself. What would Sasuke think? What would sakura think? What would the rest of this god forsaken village think?

God, what I wouldn't do to see the looks on their sorry faces. Would they finally realize all I had done and sacrificed for them? I even fought and nearly killed the first person I had _really _loved only to turn around and watch my 'sensei'-Che, more like Sasuke and Sakura's sensei- destroy his heart; all for this damned village and a stupid title. Haku had shown me more love than any ally I had ever had and his death killed me inside.

At least I would finally get to see him again. His understanding eyes, his long silky hair, his perfect pail skin, his feminine features, but most of all, his full, red lips that were the first to whisper three little words that had more meaning than any I had or ever would hear; they will all be mine once more. I could almost picture his face, warm and welcoming, with a smile and his arms out stretched, waiting to embrace me.

Ah, it is almost the end. My vision is fading, my breathing is shallow and my pulse is slowing. Just a few more moments and I will never have to wear that fake smile or act dumb to fool anyone ever again. It had worked very well though, hadn't it? Even after finding me in an almost irreparable condition, Sasuke believed that his return had cured me and none of the others had even suspected anything until that moment.

What foolish and self-absorbed people they truly were. To think that they were the same people I had once yearned for approval and recognition from. Those dreams, as well as my innocents, were brutally crushed, however, when Sasuke left me broken and bleeding on his journey to gain power and then the people who I had assumed cared for me only said that I should search him out and bring him back because they loved and needed him.

I knew that this reaction was reserved only for him and that, had I been the one who left him to die, I would have been seen as a traitor and they never would have thought twice about it. Actually, I had considered leaving as well, but my attempts were foiled by the iron fist of Tusunade. She very well may have been the only one in the village that had ever truly cared for me. And I really did love her, but I couldn't let them continue on ignorantly. And I really did love her, but I couldn't let them continue on ignorantly; I mean, when I pass on wont they simply hate my successor?

Their fear of Kyuubi would not vanish, it would grow.

As if hearing his name, Kyuubi began his attempt to stop me from making 'a grave mistake.' At this, I have to laugh. No mistake could ever be this wonderful.

He couldn't save me for I had blocked his healing chakra, but he was now attempting to release a large amount as to gain the attention of any ninja near enough to feel it and with my life force slowly dwindling, I could no longer hold him back. A large burst of red chakra left my body and my life continued to flow out of me.

A wave of vertigo over took me and I fell to the ground. My vision blurred and skin became clammy. First approaches the shock and soon my death. It would only be a few moments now. Heh, sorry Kyuubi, your too late. "I release you…" my voice was faint as I let what was probably the most fearsome beast in the world free.

As his human form assembled before me the 'no' that had been cried in my mind carried into the living world. "Why, damn it! I would rather die with you my sad kit…" as Kyuubi sobbed I smiled softly.

"Because, you are not…monstrous…please…prove them…wrong…" my voice was weak and my breath shallow. "Kyuubi…thank you…and I…love you…"

"No, you cannot die, I will not allow it!" his eyes and hands began to grow red as he attempted to heal me.

"It's…too late…" I whispered. As I did, my door slammed open. I turned to see none other than my former team and most of the other rookie nine. Their worried faces became horror stricken and fearful.

"Naruto!" Sasuke directed his gaze toward Kyuubi and it morphed into a fearsome sneer. As he prepared to lunge at the one he assumed had caused my current condition, I whispered for him to stop.

He did, and his now confused eyes darted back to me, "He is…just as…scared…as you…and…he probably…cares more…" his eyes widened at my accusation and he kneeled beside my dying body in a pool of my lovely blood. I smiled at how it stained his white shorts. "Isn't it pretty…just like…when you…" my sentence was cut off by a session of coughing that resulted in more of my blood leaking from my lips.

It must have been a beautiful sight. Would they remember me like this, lying in a pool of liquid crimson that had made my golden tresses colored as fiery as my mothers had once been and the rest of me splattered with the same gorgeous red? I could only hope because this was probably the most lovely I had ever appeared to them.

"Who did this to him?" I faintly remember Sasuke asking Kyuu.

"It was his own doing, not that you would care had you not come at this time." Came Kyuu's harsh and cynical reply. "Not that any one of you would care, or do for that matter."

"How dare you suggest-"

"Because it's true!" Kyuubi snapped. "If you really cared you would have noticed his condition much sooner!"

"…" Sasuke began crying softly before telling someone, anyone to call Tusunade. There was shuffling and a door slamming and someone sobbing and my own labored breath.

"Tell her I love her…and that…none of this…is her fault…tell her…I wasn't strong enough…tell her…to live on…" I whispered to Kyuu before looking at a pitiful Sasuke. "This is…your fault…but not…completely…it was a…joint effort…" I coughed again, spiting more blood and causing droplets to mar Sasuke's perfect completion.

I looked up to the ceiling with tear filled eyes. "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you let me help you? Please Naruto, tell me why…" he sobbed.

"Because…I have already…forgiven you…forgiven everyone…I have…risen above…hate and…found peace…this is my…final message…please relay it…" I mustered all my strength for one final sentence and around me everything grew silent, "I forgive you, so please, _please_, acknowledge at least this part of my existence…" their eyes grew wide and their sobbing grew louder and I looked to my greatest friend. "Please prove them wrong…we were never a…monster…" one last coughing fit and the slam of a door and Tusunade's strong, but shaken voice demanding something and my world faded into blackness.

I had always liked this color, too.

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><p>so what do you think? let me know and tell me if I should make it a continued story.<p> 


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